Swift

Don't play with my emoji

Does anyone remember the old fashioned smileys we used to send via text message 'back in the day'? Youngsters be like 'What's a text? What's a smiley?' and we're all here thinking how using two characters of our already restricted limit must have really meant a smile. 'Restricted limit?' Yes, my younglings, imagine communicating via Twitter and paying for it. However, the smiley principle was linear, easy, and everyone was on board. So what did we do to deserve emoji?

messing with emoji

Ideally, everyone should be able to understand the meaning behind a little drawing on a screen. That’s the first step for a successful innovation. The second step is asking yourself: do you need the emoji of an eggplant that doesn’t mean eggplant, and of a peach that doesn’t mean peach?

Furthermore, are the two hands praying or high five’ing? Because, trust me, you want to be real clear on that one!

One of my girlfriends sent me a message saying she didn’t get her period this month and I’ve reached that awkward age where half of your friends are trying to procreate, the other half are not. Given the situation, how was I supposed to know if it was happy news or uh-oh news? I sent her the praying hands. The emoji equivalent of smiling and nodding with a dumb face when you still haven’t understood what someone’s saying to you after three times they repeated it for you.

A complete different approach has to be taken to decode emoji sent by your parents or older relatives.

To them, the combination of Peach + Eggplant + Cheeky smile + Water drops + Baby face, means: you ate your vegetables and are jumping in puddles with children. Or nothing at all!

In my thorough research, I found there is no way to know if they will read your emoji story or ignore it because that’s precisely what you’re supposed to do with their hieroglyphs. Once, I messaged my whole family to let them know there was an accident in the city centre, and not to worry because I was fine. So I messaged them “Don’t worry we’re all good” and added a very detailed line of emoji depicting the whole story, including people running, ambulances, and cops shooting the driver.

They replied “What happened?”

In my head I was doing them a favour, saving time, and adding an entertainment factor to lighten the mood. But then I remembered, 
to let me know I could call her, my very own mother sent me, and I quote: 

Double heart + Butterfly + Rosebud + Apple + Chicken + Fish

Is that supposed to tell me my mother followed the direction of a pretty butterfly and found a tiny apple inside a flower bud and ate sushi with chickens? I don’t know! Anything is possible!

My new approach is to send them random emoji. I just close my eyes and poke the screen a couple of times knowing that, no matter what I pick, it will look naughty to everyone but my family.

Stars + Cheeky face + Boar + Chick in the egg + Coconut + Cucumber + Banana + Bicycle



Image: via

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