Friendship is like wearing a bra

I have made analogies about friends and bras for such long time, I feel like at this point it deserves an article on this blog. Just a disclaimer, this is not a 'there are only three kinds of friends' or 'which one are you, find out with a quiz' sort of article. This is me, letting my ideas run wild, while talking with friends that hopefully share my same sense of humour, otherwise the whole topic could be quite embarrassing.

bras and girl friends

The preface was necessary because I couldn't simply start by saying:

  • The push-up friends
Also known as the 'wonder-friends', they are the cool kids you remember from your teenage years. I am talking about those girls who looked like teen magazine models at the age of fifteen, when I looked like a sack of potatoes, but goth. They are the friends who shine so bright, they are not afraid of sharing the spotlight with you, and make you feel cool too. The best nights out were with them, the most amazing holiday adventures were with them, with them you are another person, you feel powerful and wonderfu. But there is a catch, when they leave you revert to Cinderella after-midnight. Was it all a dream? Who is the real you? The princess at the ball, or the regular girl with dry shampoo in her hair? The memories of the previous night with your push-up friends are indeed wonderful but you can't deny the fact that being able to slouch comfortably is so good.

  • The bralette friends
Who do you call for a low-key movie night? The answer is: your bralette friends. They offer barely any physical support once they sat down, zero motivation to do anything else, and no chance of improving your current position, ie: on the couch. Despite all this, we have to admit that the moral support they offer is unprecedented, and they may surprise you with some junk food. With your bralette friends you never feel alone; when you call them, they are right next to you, asking for the wifi password. The two of you may even go to the nearest convenience store and get some extra ice-cream with zero frick-fracks given. Bralette friends may not be the soul of the party, but people sure know they are there, popping over your shoulder or behind your back, photobombing all of your pictures.
  • The sport friends
I have to say, one has to commit to a certain lifestyle to come across the sport friends. Many simply have some more fit friends that you feel comfortable running with but, oh boy, they are nothing like proper sport friends. They are always so active and ready to go and make you feel like those girls in pads advertisements: you could take over the world while doing the splits. Do you need to squeeze some workout into your tight schedule? They can help you with that. They are like your personal trainer. Rather than offering a mild support, they bound you to your New Year's resolution of being more healthy and active and you almost can't get out of their sight. There isn't much you can do with them in terms of social life, you don't even know their last name but, when you're with a sport friend, your workout sure is effective.

  • The fancy friend
Friend. Singular. It's that one friend with the expensive taste and over the top attire that always looks like they put way too much effort into their appearance for what it ended up actually being a Netflix and chill date. In this case, the standard answer 'this old thing?' is, in fact, accurate. It probably is an old friend you made in a peculiar occasion a long time ago and whom you don't really keep in touch with. You may even say it's not really the right friend to do everyday things with, even shopping. They always look way too good and everything else, compared to them, looks very basic. This being said, if you need to make a good impression, bring the fancy friend along, trust me.

PS: If you hang out with fancy lace friends every day I think you should share your secret on how you got your sh*t together because 'someone' may be interested.

Image: via

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