Swift

When I hear 'offspring' I still don't think of babies

What do you think of when I say 'offspring'? Some may think of the band The Offspring, and if you are among them, you deserve a smiley sticker because you are on my same page. If you thought of children and things like that, you are about to find out something different.

pregnant with a baby

Surely, I did not think of babies when I read a friend's reply to the news that I decided to start jogging.

"Jogging". More like trying to look like I'm moving and breathing at the same time, both of which I am not. I'm actually slower than the old men that go for their afternoon walk around the park.

Anyway, that was my big news. And she said she had some good news too. I was thinking maybe she finally found her dream house, a full-time job, how to walk on high heels... As you see, I was pretty open-minded, instead she said she is five months pregnant.

And she told me just now?!

Way to go Barbs! Making it about you even when it is your friend buffering an offspring.

My head knows that should not be the first thing to say in this situation, but my guts said: pick one between 'Oh God why!', 'Are you aware you will have to buy them smartphones, and pay for school, and clothes...', or 'And you told me just now?'. I obviously picked the latter. On the bright side, it could have been worse: 'Do you need a ride to the doctor?', 'Are you scared?', 'Was it planned?', 'Is the baby daddy still around?'. Luckily my brain managed to abort these options. Sad but insightful choice of words.

PS: To my dear friend Vera, if you are reading this, I think you should procreate more because your kids look gorgeous and I am glad it was all part of your family master plan. And even if pregnant people scare me because I am always afraid they are going to fall or explode, I am glad we could overcome this with me being abroad. Both times. Totally not planned.

PPS: This post is dedicated to Gaia, because she deserves a better reaction to that surprised jogging selfie.



Image: via

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