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Starting your own family - Adulting Mythbusters

This month I would like to address the big F, family. Not the family that raised you but the one society expects you to start as part of your 'having your shit together'. Maybe it's not a family in the most traditional way, maybe it's just a rooted comfortable relationship with a special someone whom you share life plans with. Life plans and a house, of course, but that's for another episode. As usual, click here if you'd like to check out the previous episodes of Adulting Mythbusters, otherwise keep on reading! 


adulting family

Some say the time to experiment and enjoy your sexual freedom is during college, and after that you should feel the need to settle down. Let me tell you this: there is no such thing as the right time to plant roots in a relationship and it's surely not something you have to do to consider yourself an adult. I strongly believe you ought to be comfortable with yourself first, master a couple of things, and feel confident about your strengths. By the way: it's okay to ask for help to clip that bracelet even when you are a strong and independent person.

To be fully honest with you, while I was in Italy I have never ever thought about this phase of growing up, the family phase. My friends and I could barely think of moving out, never mind starting our own family! Only two couples from my group are married and the best thing about that is the free wine at their wedding receptions. Just kidding, the bachelorette party isn't bad either! Whereas, in Australia, it seems that living with your partner and getting married is perfectly normal and expected at our age. Maybe it's a peculiarity of the group of friends I have here, maybe I am reading too much into it, and it still depends on situations and life choices. But, hey, I have been here one year and I have been invited to two engagement parties. I know, right? I wasn't expecting this to happen, that's why I came here with one fancy skirt.

I want to believe that I am in my mid-twenties and several years ago I bought one good dress for my graduation, and used that same dress for every 'special occasion' ever since. Weddings, job interviews, first day at work, friends' graduations, and so on. I look forward to going to weddings with my good dress, not for the catching of the bouquet, but for the free food, which happens to be the power that defines most of my lifestyle choices. Have I ever told you about that time I ended up at a church buffet? Back on topic: is getting married something we have to do as soon as possible? Is there a job + house + wedding deal I didn't know about? Because, if that was the case, I would be far from the adulting line. Yet the amount of scrolling I have to do on a website when I am selecting my birth year would disagree.

I believe finding a soulmate is hard enough without the pressure you put on yourself to settle down as a necessary part of the adulting process. Don't give in to all those Pinterest wedding boards, you do you, and *high five* if you do someone else as well.



Image: thanks to Martina

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