Don't be afraid to be your own set of things

There is a time during everyone's life where you feel like you have to 'pick your place'. In the most popular American high-school movie tradition it's safe to say you had to fit into one of the stereotypical cafeteria groups. Spoiler alert! In reality you don't have to.

be yourself

Luckily or not, there was no cafeteria in my teenage school years. I had to find my friends, mostly through other friends, and we created a sort of 'chain of people'. We weren't necessarily linked by music interest or school projects, we didn't even share the same style (no uniforms in my school either). I remember we all had our role within the group. In a way we were our own cafeteria! Which is pretty weird to say, but stay with me here. We had our nerds, the girl scout, the hyperactive one, the shy one, and the goth one (which, for the record, was me).

Again, luckily or not, I got to choose the label 'gothic' myself. I literally woke up one day and decided to go dark. Everything had to be black, from my nail polish to my hair. And I thought that's how it was done. I would not listen to anything other than metal, never wear any colour other than black, would never smile. I was 16, I didn't know any better and I legitimately thought labels were exclusive. All or nothing. You had to pick a path and follow it because that's how you grow up with true and genuine interests.

I was well into my 20s when I realised it doesn't have to be like that. I know, I am a little genius sometimes. I would find cute pink things and think: I wish I could like these instead of making fun of them and rolling my eyes all the time. The hardest thing was being happy. I had the idea that everything about me had to make people understand immediately 'who I was'. To be goth I had to be unapproachable, sharing only mean comments and deep melancholic thoughts. Which ultimately made me feel very sad and upset most of the time, add that to the teenage hormones storm and you can easily guess what a mess it was.

Thankfully that odd group of friends made me realise people don't have to follow under a label. We grew up together, we experienced the world and widened our views. There is so much more to everyone, and it's perfectly fine to be a whole set of things. I would wear a metal band t-shirt one day with my combat boots, and a pretty lolita dress the next day, and all was well. 

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